The First Annual 3am Awards
I'm sure by now, you've seen a number of Top Whatever lists. Best of '016. But, let’s face it... no one cares about lists. At best, you glance at it with a vague sense of disagreement.
And that’s where The 3am Awards come in. In lieu of a list, I give you the moment you didn't even realise you've been waiting for:
The First Annual 3am Awards
Awarded for Outstanding Musical Musicianship in the Field of Music
The awards takes a look at this year in music and honours the deserving songs, albums, videos, and artists in the form of randomly named award categories, as chosen by Jess, Christine, and myself. And even though the categories may be a little glib (to say the least) these are legitimately some of our favourites of the year.
We’ve broken them down into three categories for you:
The Doomy Awards (as chosen by Kirk)
Song Most Likely To Make You Endlessly Sob
“Distant Sky” by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, off the album Skeleton Tree
Song You Most Want to Send to That One Friend (But You Know It's A Bad Idea)
“Dump The Guy ASAP” by Lisa LeBlanc, off the album Why You Wanna Leave, Runaway Queen?
Song You Can Listen to a Thousand Times and Not Be Sick Of
“Infamous” by Basia Bulat, off the album Good Advice
Best Song To Dance ‘til You Don’t Care
“Lonely” by Kaylee Johnston, off the EP Kaylee Johnston
The 'Nick Cave Murder Ballads' Award for Song You Most Expected To End in Murder
“Lola + Joseph” by July Talk, off the album Touch
Best Riff
“Risto’s Riff” by Moonface & Siinai, off the album My Best Human Face
The 'Mondegreen' Award for Misheard Lyrics That Most Changed the Meaning Of The Song
“I could never be alone with you” misheard as “I could never be in love with you”
From “Alone With You” by Youngblood, off the EP Feel Alright
Best Super Mario Reference
“Gotta make that ratio // of prince and asshole // but again the princesses are in another castle.”
From “Male Gaze” by The Zolas, off the album Swooner
Best Warning In A Song
"I’m the one from whom your mother told you to run and hide."
From “Blood Moon” by Skye Wallace, off the album Something Wicked
Best Album To Make The Most Mundane Task Sound Epic
The Wilderness by Explosions in the Sky
Album That Most Makes You Want To Close Your Eyes And Drift Into Space
Upsweep by Hannah Epperson
Most Hauntingly Beautiful (or Beautifully Haunting) Album
(dissonance) by Animalia
Most Mind-Bending Synchronized Dance in a Video
“Somersault” by Royal Canoe, off the album Something Got Lost Between Here and the Orbit
Best Use of a Submarine Outside of a Mall
"What Light (Never Goes Dim)" by Aidan Knight, off the album Each Other
The McAcademy Awards (as chosen by Christine)
"Don't Call It A Comeback" Award for Best Reinvention
Centerfold by The Darcys
The Careless Whisper Memorial Award for Best Use Of Saxophone
"Rideback" by Hannah Georgas, off the album For Evelyn
The Tanya Tagaq Award for Best For Best Guest Vocals
Shad for "Centre" by Tanya Tagaq, off the album Retribution
Hardest Cry At A Television Screen
Broadcast of the final Tragically Hip show in Kingston
Most Engaging Fan Engagement
Arkells enrolling their fans in "Private School"
Music That Is Really A History Lesson Everyone Needs
Secret Path by Gord Downie
Best Song of [At Least] Ween-Level Seriousness
"King Of The Deep" by Our Debut Album, from the podcast Our Debut Album
Live Show Most Likely To Make You Tired Merely From Watching
JPNSGRLS
The "We Knew Him First" Award for Cameo In A Music Video
Finn Wolfhard in PUP's "Sleep In The Heat"
The Party You Should Really Attend
Andy Shauf's
Live Show Most Likely To Make You Actually Dance Your Pants Off
The Wild Romantics
The Brodeun Globes (as chosen by Jessica)
Song That Can Turn Your Mood Around Quickest & Without Fail
"Always" by Tor Miller, off the album American English
Award For A Song So Catchy You'd Never Know Its Political Theme
"Brazil" by Declan McKenna, off the album Isombard
Song That Evokes A Physical Feeling of Pain If Taken Too Literally
"Heart in Two" by Reuben and the Dark, released as a single
Favourite Canadiana Overheard Outside of Canada
The Party by Andy Shauf, playing in its entirety in a small cafe in San Diego
Coolest Indie Artist Side Hobby
Andrew Bird's confession about his love for mountain biking during is Vancouver tour date show
Favourite International Discovery
I have CBC to thank many, many thanks for introducing me to France's Jain, a forever staple in my music library.
Lyric That, No Matter How Many Times I Sing It, Will Never Be True
"On the nights you stay home / I don't even look at my phone."
From "On the Nights You Stay Home," by Donovan Woods, off the album Hard Settle, Ain't Troubled
Sweatiest Moment of 2016
The Cobalt, October 5 (and I imagine, 6, 7, and 8 as well) during Japandroid's 4-night stint.
Annual Singer/Songwriter/Guitar Award For Album That Proves I'm Not Over Indie Singer-Songwriters
In Deepest Blue by Joshua Hyslop
Minimalist Award for doing More With Less
"Getting Over You" by Bob Moses, off the album Days Gone By