The '018 Doomy Awards presented by 3am Revelations
As I say every year, no one really cares about year-end best-of lists anymore. At best, you glance at them with a vague sense of disagreement before maybe complaining online, then completely forgetting about it.
And that's where The 3am Awards come in. In lieu of a list, I give you the awards you didn't even realise you've been waiting for:
The '018 Doomy Awards presented by 3am Revelations
Awarded for Outstanding Musical Musicianship in the Field of Music
These awards take a look at this year in music and honours the deserving songs, albums, and artists in the form of randomly named award categories, as chosen by me (Kirk). And even though the awards may be a little glib (to say the least) these are legitimately some of my favourites of the year.
So without further ado, and in no particular order...
Best Song About the Inevitable Heat Death of the Universe
"Nova" by Shred Kelly, off the album Archipelago
Best Song Named After an Epigram
"Murphy's Law" by Chersea, off the album In Limbo
Best Song About Mistaking Professional Courtesy for Personal Affection
"Show Me How You Want To Be Loved" by Blonde Diamond, off the album Fantasy Love
Best Song That's Fun To Pretend Is About A Main Character of Futurama
"Bender" by Kandle, off the album Holy Smoke
Song Most Likely To Secretly Be About Wanting The Most Electrifying Man In Sports Entertainment To Run For President
”People’s Champ” by Arkells, off the album Rally Cry
Song That Most Hits You Right In The Repressed Memories for Nerdy Kids
"Danny Don't You Know" by Ninja Sex Party, off the album Cool Patrol
Best Song To Use As An Excuse To Stay Home From That Thing You Don't Really Want To Go To
"Lay Low" by Dan Mangan, off the album More Or Less
Best Song To Reminds Us That Humans, as a Species, Can Be Kinda Shitty
"Last Lion of Albion" by Neko Case, off the album Hell-On
Best Song To Reminds Us That Men, as a Gender, Can Be Kinda Shitty
"Girl's Gotta Do" by Jill Barber, off the album Metaphora
Best Song To Reminds Us That Men, as a Gender, Are Definitely Shitty
"Didn't Ask" by For Esmé, off the album Righteous Woman
Song Most Likely To Make East Van Renters Cry
"Paid A Million Dollars (To Live Like You’re Poor)" by Kitty & The Rooster, off the album One Gig Hard Drive
Best Chorus To Sing (Yell) Along With, Preferably Near A Campfire At Night With Old Friends
"Young Desire" by Hillsburn, off the album The Wilder Beyond
Best Lyrics to End an Album
"I love you baby, but you're not my friend // and that's just what happens when summer ends."
from "Summer Love" by Miesha and the Spanks, off the album Girls Girls Girls
Best Acoustic Reimagining of a Previous Album
TIE!
At Long Creek II by Paper Lions
Twice Upon a Hell of a Time… by Matt Mays
Most Appropriate Album Title, In Regards To The Best Time To Listen To It
At Night by We Are The City
Best Album Featuring a Minotaur as a Recurring Character
This One's for the Dancer & This One's for the Dancer's Bouquet by Moonface
The 'Soft Bulletin' Award for Best Album To Listen To With Headphones to Appreciate the Full 360 Degrees of Sound
Hold by Rich Aucoin
Album That Most Makes You Want To Close Your Eyes And Drift Into Space
Slowdown by Hannah Epperson
The Sir Benjamin Wyatt Award For Outstanding Stop-Motion Animation
"UnAmerican" by Said the Whale, off the (forthcoming) album Cascadia
The 'Shameless Self-Promotion' Award for Best Song Written For a Punk Rock Dungeons & Dragons Podcast
"Fruit Grenade" by Rust Monster, from the podcast Dungeon Punks