The '019 Doomy Awards presented by 3am Revelations

By now you might know the deal. I don’t really think anyone actually cares about year-end best-of lists anymore. At best, you glance at them with a vague sense of disagreement before maybe complaining about it... then completely forgetting about it. And that's where The Doomy Awards come in. In lieu of a list, I give you the award show [you may not have known] you've been waiting for:

The '019 Doomy Awards presented by 3am Revelations
Awarded for Outstanding Musical Musicianship in the Field of Music

These awards take a look at this year in music and honours the deserving songs, albums, and artists in the form of goofy award categories, as chosen by me (Kirk). And even though the awards may be a little glib (to say the least) these are legitimately some of my favourites of the year.

So without further ado, and in no particular order...

The "Murder Ballads" Award for Best Song About Axe Murder
"Swing Batter" by Skye Wallace, off her self-titled album

Best Song About Dating a Werewolf
"Hiding From The Moon" by Pale Lips, off the album After Dark

Song That Most Reminds Me Of Riding a Horse Through Hyrule Field in Breath Of The Wild
"YVR" by Laura Barrett, off the album Who Is The Baker?

Best Song To Play For an Ex
"I Never Liked Your Friends" by Alexandria Maillot, off the album Benevolence

Best Song To Play For an Offspring 
"Level Best" by Said the Whale, off the album Cascadia

Best Song To Play For The Offspring 
"All I Want" by Broken Social Scene, off the album Let's Try The After

Best Pun in a Song Title
"Bitter Suite" by Rong⚡, off the album (.)

Best Song to Pretend is About a Fictional Hotel Owner in Torquay, England
"Basil" by Memphis, off the album Leave With Me

Best Song About Coming to Terms With Your Own Brilliance
"Fan Fiction (Ballad Of A Genius)" by Murray A Lightburn, off the album Hear Me Out

Best Song to Crank on the Last Day of the Year 
(and Every Subsequent Day of the New Year)
"Fear" by Begonia, off the album Fear

Most Heartwrenching Album About Death
Ghosteen by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Most Uplifting Album About Death
Release by Rich Aucoin

The "Hospital Music" Award for Best Album About Mental Health
The Family Curse by Sarah Jickling And Her Good Bad Luck

Album Most Likely to Induce Frisson & Tingle Your Spine
Wave Your Flags by Phildel

Best Album to Accompany You on a Trip Through an Enchanted Forest
Phantom Forest by Lydia Ainsworth

Album I Most Wanted To Be Longer
acākosīk by iskwē

EP That Most Hits You Right in The Repressed Memories
Love Handles by Mat Prince

The 'Mondegreen' Award for Best Misheard Lyric
"And I can stop Karen..." 
from the song "Clowns" by Louise Burns, off the album Portraits
Louise Burns was also awarded Best Meta Song for 
"Sky (Every Album Needs A Ballad)" off the same album

Most Personal Growth As Heard Through Lyrics
"I know the best kind of life is a 9 to 5 for me"
from the song "Shirt & Tie" by Paper Lions, off the 2019 album Stay Together
as compared to
"I'll sweat it out from 9 to 5, to sweat it out on Friday night" 
from the song "Sweat It Out”, off the 2008 album Trophies

Sweetest Lyric Out of Context from the Rest of the Song
"Love is a dream and they could never shake you awake" 
from the song "Don't" by Royal Canoe, off the album Waver

Darkest Lyric in the Context of the Rest of the Song
"Love is a dream and they could never shake you awake" 
from the song "Don't" by Royal Canoe, off the album Waver

Most Cathartic Lyrics to Shout Along With
"Saying, "Fuck you" to the dark, saying, "Fuck you" to the deep
Saying, "Fuck off, cancer," saying, "Fuck 2017"
Saying, "Never again," all together with me
Saying, "Never again,” 'cause together makes a difference"
from the song "Two Mirrors" by Tim Baker, off the album Forever Overhead